etben: flowers and sky (rl: yes but wait what)
etben ([personal profile] etben) wrote2014-01-02 09:35 pm

RARGH

So we watched the newest Sherlock tonight, because we enjoy suffering (and also because neither of us have to get up in the morning, snow emergency WOOHOO).

Basically, I have three objections:

1) it's a heist movie, which ORDINARILY I would be fine with, because I fucking love heist movies, I love love LOVE the big reveal at the end, they are my kryptonite and I have no shame.

BUT. In a heist movie, there are two big emotional relationships, right? One is between The Dude and His Fellow Criminal, who is maybe his love interest or maybe his bro (or maybe BOTH! see: Danny Ocean and Rusty Ryan); they ride off into the sunset together and Thwart The Man and everything is brilliant (or sometimes the Bro dies, if it's a tragic sort of movie, but that's bullshit and I disapprove).

The OTHER big relationship is between The Dude and The Law, whoever that is, and they antagonize each other and The Law is grudgingly respectful and also driven as fuck, but ultimately unsuccessful.

AND JOHN WATSON IS NEITHER OF THOSE. Which, like, that's fine...but it basically sets him up as the patsy, the stool, the guy who stands by and is totally gulled by The Dude, and that's just...not very interesting, to me. If he's conned, then Sherlock's entire apology scene is patently insincere, the entire emotional oomph of The Reichenbach Fall is removed, and Sherlock is even more of an asshole than he appears to be. And I'm just not here for that.

2) The queerbaiting, dear jesus the queerbaiting. ENOUGH. STOP. NO. NO NO NO NO NO. Throwing myself off of a balcony with how much NO.

3) *deep breath*

V FOR VENDETTA DID IT FIRST. AND DID IT BETTER.

So, yeah. That happened, and it was entertaining but ultimately SUPER FRUSTRATING, as anticipated. After we were done, J and I turned to each other and said, "yeah, that was...kind of awful. Why can't we watch more Elementary instead?"

AND THEN WE REALIZED THAT ELEMENTARY COMES BACK TONIGHT. IN 27 MINUTES, TO BE EXACT. WINNERS.

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