etben: flowers and sky (Default)
Earlier this week, [personal profile] jai informed me that we were going to see that modern classic, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.

Internet, I tell you freely: I was dubious as fuck. Renner's face swayed me a little, and the prospect of fangirls swayed me a little more, and the promise of seeing it at the movie theater that will sell you beer persuaded me, but still: dubious as fuck.

...which turned out to be unwarranted, because OH MY GOD SO MUCH FUN. :DDDDDD

Not, let me clarify, because the movie is good. The movie is...not good. Very much with the not good. The opening scene involves a witch's house (in pseudo-1300s Germany) with orange candy peanuts on the door, okay - historical accuracy is just ONE of the many things that went completely out the window in this movie. Other things: coherent plot, couth, subtlety, class, any pretensions at a lack of an incest subplot.

And yet: SUPER ENJOYABLE. Largely, to be fair, because a few minutes after we settled in at the theater, some people sat behind us. I listened to their conversation, as creepy people do, and after a few minutes I leaned over to J and whispered,

"I think they're from the Internet."

Which indeed they were! And together we made a very merry ten-person heckling section while Jeremy Renner ran around with his anachronistic weaponry, pretending (badly) not to want to fuck his sister. There were witches! (Renner had sex with them) And fanboys! (Renner didn't have sex with them, unless that happened while I was getting more beer) And a troll! (...god, I hope nobody had sex with the troll.) Basically, it was utter schlock, gratuitous on every level, and I enjoyed it 1000000%. D- movie, A+ experience.

And then we left the theater, exchanged internet contact details, got shushed at in the hallway twice, took over a patch of sidewalk for a while, went in search of cupcakes, achieved cupcakes, went in search of MOAR BOOZE, were unsuccessful, gave up for reasons of OMG COLD, and parted ways.

MY POINT IS: I love the internet. Thank you, tubes, for bringing me fandom, and by extension not only Jeremy Renner and his ridiculous dead face, but fangirls of all different stripes to join me in making a spectacle of ourselves in public. ♥!
etben: flowers and sky (rl: \o/)
THIS IS RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS.

It contains such gems as:

So tonight Espo and I headed out to a swank party on the Upper East Side that our new bouncer friends are working at. Far more nicely dressed than we were the other day and no Crown Vic. (Not that Esposito ever lets me behind the wheel anyhow – he's no fan of my driving. A consequence of growing up in the Bronx, getting my license late in life, and a little incident in the Village a year ago... neutral and reverse look similar, okay?)

I just. I JUST. HOW IS THIS SHOW REAL?
etben: flowers and sky (Default)
THIS IS RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS.

It contains such gems as:

So tonight Espo and I headed out to a swank party on the Upper East Side that our new bouncer friends are working at. Far more nicely dressed than we were the other day and no Crown Vic. (Not that Esposito ever lets me behind the wheel anyhow – he's no fan of my driving. A consequence of growing up in the Bronx, getting my license late in life, and a little incident in the Village a year ago... neutral and reverse look similar, okay?)

I just. I JUST. HOW IS THIS SHOW REAL?
etben: flowers and sky (city on the edge of forever)
So I've been thinking about the idea of Atlantis as a sentient being, and particularly as the portrayal of Atlantis as female, and I've had a few thoughts )
etben: flowers and sky (Default)
1. thoughts on the strikethrough whosywhatsis )

2. Conversations I Probably Shouldn't Be Having At Work, #9781:

[livejournal.com profile] etben: man, I want to write dirty fucking.
but I don't know who should fuck!
I am very unspecific, is the thing
I want to write fucking!
I don't know what kind.
[livejournal.com profile] shoemaster: other than 'dirty'
[livejournal.com profile] etben: right@
...possibly I just want to have sex.
*thinks about it*

But, actually? I want to write about fucking, I've decided. It's my last shift at work until sometime in July! I want to make it memorable! And porn is always memorable, right? OF COURSE RIGHT.

SO: Give me a prompt! In any fandom that I write, or that you know I'm familiar with, or any combination of those fandoms. Any number of characters! Crossovers! Orgies! And I will write you at least 100 words of fiction without any redeeming social value.

(Full disclosure: I am absurdly ADD today - I started and discarded half a dozen ideas for stories in chat with [livejournal.com profile] shoemaster in the space of, like, twenty minutes. Also, I won't be able to post any pornfiction until after I get off shift, since the bossmen have decided (wisely, really) that lj is not a site to which the student staff should have access on the work computers. Still! I will think about your prompts with GREAT DEVOTION, and post the results from home.)
etben: flowers and sky (it's naked time!)
If you had me under your command and could make me write anything, regardless of whether or not I know the fandom or if anybody even writes fic in that fandom and no matter how crack-addled it might be, what would you love to see me write?

I make no promises - mostly, I'm just curious. And procrastinating.

PLEASE NOTE: Any person or persons saying "your goddamn paper that's due tomorrow, you dumbass fuck" do so at their own risk. I HAVE A SPORK, PEOPLE. Or, well. I could have a spork.
etben: flowers and sky (???)
Oh Mighty Friendslist,

What are your best/worst/favorite inappropriate place-names? By which I mean cities that sounds dirty, even if they aren't meant to be. For example: Lickinghole, VA; Climax, MI; Bottom, NC (and of course Condom and Brest, over in France).

Come on! I know you have some raunchy towns for me! Fandom-at-large has a filthy, filthy mind - let's put that to good use*!

*for values of "good use" including but not limited to "OH GOD KILL ME NOW."

memesheep!

Jan. 23rd, 2007 06:04 pm
etben: flowers and sky (which one of you bitches...)
Ganked from...pretty much everybody, at this point: Give me one of my own stories, and a timestamp sometime in the future after the end of the story, or sometime in the past before the story started, and I'll write you at least a hundred words of what happened then, whether it's five minutes before the story started or ten years in the future. Open season, folks: go wild! [ETA: very nearly all of my stories are here, in case you are wondering]

PLEASE. I have two and a half more hours here, and if I do not find something to engage my higher brain function at least a little, I'm going to start seducing the new hires just out of boredom. (and of course you are allowed to ask after I leave work! I need a writing jump-start!)

Resolving

Dec. 31st, 2006 06:38 pm
etben: flowers and sky (BSG - Kara is the shit)
so, mm, yes. I just finished typing up the whole "things what I wrote in 2006" post, with coding and links and all...only to realize that I can't actually post it until the ds_ss reveals go up tonight, since I want to put that in. Mmmmyes. I am both beautiful and talented!

Still, I'll be gone this evening when all the well-wishing goes down, so: Happy 2007, everyone! May it be filled with joy and love and plenty of good sex (fictional and nonfictional, hopefully!). You have all been wonderfully good to me, and I love you in a sprawling, flailing, undignified sort of way. To list the ways and wherefores would be time-consuming and embarassing, so I'll just say: rock on with your bad selves, people, and here's me hoping to see more of you in the coming year.

also, because no year is complete without them: Resolutions! )

So, yeah. I'm going to be less of an antisocial dumbfuck! and also write more porn.

This afternoon, I finally dragged my family down to Powell's, which - god, that's totally my happy place. Books and books and books! and the sort of people that Borders had when I was small and it was still cool. (side note: I have t-shirts from Borders Young Readers Club, back when they still did that sort of thing. They rock.) Powell's isn't as enormous as I remember it, seeing as I haven't been there in several years, but it's still awesome and I still wanted to buy more books than would fit in my suitcase even if I left all of my clothes here. Managed to restrain myself, though, and wound up with three books of short stories - one by Isaac Asimov, one by Ursula Leguin, and one by Neil Gaiman.

Also - I don't think I mentioned this? - but my mom and Flatmate A conspired together to get me boots for Christmas, and I am as happy as a clam at high tide. Knee high! Black leather! Do not be surprised if you find yourselves suddenly unable to resist my charms.

aaaaaaand yes. I'm going to go read, now. Kisses to you all! See you on Wednesday!

...

Jul. 20th, 2006 07:50 pm
etben: flowers and sky (Default)
Er, hi.

For those of you who've been paying attention, yes: I haven't been around very much at all for the past seven weeks or so - part of that was work, and part of that was car trouble stranding me in upper wisconsin, and part of that was just being fuckass tired.

And I should get out of the Wiscon soon (tomorrow! *crosses fingers*), but the downside of that is that I'll likely miss the second epsiode of SGA. Which, fine, yes: I'm kind of a freak about continuity, and I'd rather see the first one first and then move on from there, but people: I will be stuck in Chicago traffic while fandom marches on around me, and that makes me sad.

...not that you can really do anything about that, I suppose, but I'm feeling fannishly starved and thought I'd whinge about it for a bit. I don't even dare read any of the fic I missed, since I'm currently using the computer of an elderly friend of the family, and I don't want her to ever ever ever know about my fannish ways.

For those of you who haven't been paying attention: hi! I'm back! ...not, unfortunately, bearing gifts - the great tragedy of my life is that I do not have enough hands to drive and write at the same time. Still, give me a few days with the family, and I'll see what I can do.

...

This is an astonishingly content-free post. Hmmm.

Any recs? Bear in mind that I missed pretty much all fannish activity from the beginning of June until right now...what should be my first stops when I get unrestricted net access again? I know I missed the pornathon at stop_drop_porn, and everything over at reel_sga...what else went down? Who's written something exciting? Pimp me anything and everything in sga, ds, and supernatural...you all know what I like (most everything, really).

also, word to the wise: pay the fucking air freight, even if it is $150. Next-day delivery would be SO FUCKING WORTH IT. *shakes tiny wrathful fists at the gods of car trouble, and at Wisconsin, too, for good measure*

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