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pimp post!
I cannot believe I am doing this, but here goes:
SO HERE IS THE THING. Neither Banlieue 13 nor its sequel, Banlieue 13: Ultimatum are anything even remotely approaching good. The acting is terrible, the plots are improbable at best, and some of it is just so dumb you can't even. Like, every time I try to explain these movies, it goes like this:
And yet I love them beyond all reason. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHY.
Reason 1:
This is Damien. He's an undercover cop who gets assigned to retrieve the bomb from Banlieue 13, the shitty district full of gangs and violence and drugs and whatnot. He's the kind of person who can say "I don't have any bible but the law" with a straight face.
This is Leïto, who likes to mock Damien for saying shit like that but secretly totally agrees. He's from B13, but he's trying to make things better for everybody - fighting back against the gangs, kicking ass and taking names. He winds up working with Damien—against both of their wishes, really—because, um, thesamedruglordthatboughtthebombhasalsokidnappedleïto'ssisterandgottenheraddictedtocrack.
LOOK, I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD. You really don't need to pay attention to the plot, anyways - the point, here, is that Damien and Leïto team up to recover the bomb, save Leïto's sister, and then foil the secret government conspiracy that turns out to have been behind it all. It's kind of gay, and also involves chase scenes like this, so, you know. Good times all around!
Then there is the sequel. Three years later, the wall around B13 is still up, and Damien is...well.
Damien is doing this:
And also this:
Leïto, meanwhile, is doing this:
And also this:
...mostly because he can. Anyway, there is YET ANOTHER government conspiracy, this one involving people riling up tensions between the gangs and the police so that the President will give up and bomb B13. YES REALLY. And Damien gets sent to prison so that he won't interfere, but, oh! He manages to call Leïto from the prison, so that Leïto will come and break him out! Which Leïto does!
Awww.
So then there is plot, and they manage to get all the gang leaders together to fight the power, blah blah blah, this part is kind of boring except for the martial arts stuff, which is, again, totally kickass. Did I mention that Leïto is played by David Belle, one of the founders of Parkour? Yeah. It's basically amazing.
So! Banlieue 13 and Banlieue 13: Ultimatum! You should watch them! And then write me fic about the two of them helping rebuild after the end of the second movie, and possibly living together, and definitely wrestling a lot I AM SUBTLE LIKE A BRICK, OKAY.
IN CONCLUSION, THIS:
SO HERE IS THE THING. Neither Banlieue 13 nor its sequel, Banlieue 13: Ultimatum are anything even remotely approaching good. The acting is terrible, the plots are improbable at best, and some of it is just so dumb you can't even. Like, every time I try to explain these movies, it goes like this:
Me: So it's set in Paris, right, in 2013, and in this universe the government has built a wall around this one really bad neighborhood, and then there's a BOMB, and these two guys have to get it out, and there are drug lords and...LOOK IT'S REALLY AWESOME OKAY?
Other Person: ...okay?
And yet I love them beyond all reason. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHY.
Reason 1:
This is Damien. He's an undercover cop who gets assigned to retrieve the bomb from Banlieue 13, the shitty district full of gangs and violence and drugs and whatnot. He's the kind of person who can say "I don't have any bible but the law" with a straight face.
This is Leïto, who likes to mock Damien for saying shit like that but secretly totally agrees. He's from B13, but he's trying to make things better for everybody - fighting back against the gangs, kicking ass and taking names. He winds up working with Damien—against both of their wishes, really—because, um, thesamedruglordthatboughtthebombhasalsokidnappedleïto'ssisterandgottenheraddictedtocrack.
LOOK, I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD. You really don't need to pay attention to the plot, anyways - the point, here, is that Damien and Leïto team up to recover the bomb, save Leïto's sister, and then foil the secret government conspiracy that turns out to have been behind it all. It's kind of gay, and also involves chase scenes like this, so, you know. Good times all around!
Then there is the sequel. Three years later, the wall around B13 is still up, and Damien is...well.
Damien is doing this:
And also this:
Leïto, meanwhile, is doing this:
And also this:
...mostly because he can. Anyway, there is YET ANOTHER government conspiracy, this one involving people riling up tensions between the gangs and the police so that the President will give up and bomb B13. YES REALLY. And Damien gets sent to prison so that he won't interfere, but, oh! He manages to call Leïto from the prison, so that Leïto will come and break him out! Which Leïto does!
Awww.
So then there is plot, and they manage to get all the gang leaders together to fight the power, blah blah blah, this part is kind of boring except for the martial arts stuff, which is, again, totally kickass. Did I mention that Leïto is played by David Belle, one of the founders of Parkour? Yeah. It's basically amazing.
So! Banlieue 13 and Banlieue 13: Ultimatum! You should watch them! And then write me fic about the two of them helping rebuild after the end of the second movie, and possibly living together, and definitely wrestling a lot I AM SUBTLE LIKE A BRICK, OKAY.
IN CONCLUSION, THIS: