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Grace Under Pressure: thoughts about the story I want
So, ok, thinking about :
lierduoma mentioned that she wanted to see the porntacular episode coda wherein we see the surveillance footage from the jumper. Because, and I'm quoting here,
"it's not Sam/Rodney at all. It's Rodney. Scared and hallucinating and TOUCHING HIMSELF IN THE DARK.
PEOPLE, WE WERE WATCHING HIM MASTURBATE FROM THE INSIDE OF HIS DUBIOUSLY FUNCTIONING BRAIN.
FUCK."
It made me think that what I want from this episode (or from fic, rather, following this episode) is the rewrite wherein Rodney also hallucinates John, to be the angel on his other shoulder. And John and Sam could argue and be hot, and eventually there could be threesome sex. Which would rock.
But, really? While, sure, I want that fic (like, a LOT), it's not what I really want. What I really want is the fic from a later mission, one that also goes horribly, horribly wrong. Rodney is again injured upon the head, and he's distressed and panicking, and he's alone, yet again, and this time there's genuinely nothing he can do. This in no way stops him from doing it; it just means that, again, he's actually making the situation worse by trying to fix it, and on some level he knows that, but he can't not do something, because that's who he is, he's the guy that does things. Maybe he's at the bottom of a hole? I don't know. Anyway, the point is that John gets there. Maybe he was in a different part of the hole; maybe they lowered him down to check on McKay, since he was being real quiet (Rodney: I was unconscious, you morons! Yes, of course I was being quiet!).
Because then, we have the following: Rodney, somewhere in the dark, with nothing to do but to wait to be rescued, climbing the walls trying to do something, anything, and then, suddenly (or, ok, not actually suddenly, really with lots of falling rock and manly grunts, but it seems suddenly to Rodney, partly because he's being all focused and partly because, you know, head injury), John! Saying, hey, calm down, McKay--Rodney! Calm down, sit down, there's a rescue team on their way, they're coming for us, we've just got to sit tight and--hey, no, don't touch that! Rodney! Rodney, listen to me--
Rodney, though, has BEEN HERE BEFORE. He knows the tricks his mind will play on him, and so he doesn't turn around, doesn't look at John even when he wants to so, so badly, just keeps working and maybe tosses out, over his shoulder, something of the lines of, oh, shut up, we've been here already and let me tell you--or, well, me, actually--anyway--I am not listening to my subconscious this time, because this time--and here he whirls around and brandishes something at John--this time I am right and I do not do this, if I listen to my hallucinations, I will die. For real, this time.
Which of course leads to a very awkward conversation, since Rodney never actually explained what he meant when he talked about Carter, post Grace Under Pressure, never mentioned it at all, in fact, and John tries (really, he does!) to make it clear that he actually exists, really he does, McKay, look, will you just--! He even pokes Rodney in the arm, to make him see, but Rodney! Rodney is NOT CONVINCED. Sam made out with him, and she was just a fragment of his subconscious, so if you don't mind--
Because, see, Rodney's right, this time. Well, not about John being a figment of his imagination, but about the part where he HAS TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW. The cave (it's definitely a cave) is collapsing, and not slowly enough that they can just sit and wait for rescue. Rodney has a plan, but he has to do something now now now. He asks John's opinion, because even if he isn't there, he's still Rodney, so he's got to be pretty smart, so, come on, what do you think of this?
Then, of course, once he understands it, John helps (although he's totally still boggling about the part where Rodney a)hallucinated Carter b) knew she was a hallucination, and c)made out with her anyways, and he's totally planning to give Rodney shit about this when he gets them out), because, as mentioned before, Rodney's right. Rodney, for his part, is a little confused. He doesn't really get why his subconscious has given him John, who's encouraging, unless--Oh, great. So now I subconsciously doubt myself, so I need someone around to keep my spirits up? God, this is humiliating, and I'm still not getting laid. And John--who's probably holding something up--is confused, because, what, you hallucinated the girl of your dreams and didn't get some? Rodney's huffy, but eventually admits that he knows she wouldn't, and so his subconscious knows it, too, so...
Man, John says. That sucks. But, McKay--Rodney. I mean, it's not that I wouldn't... I mean, you know. Because he would, really, and, you know, he's at least real, not a hallucination, although, fine, Rodney doesn't believe that, but, you know, even with the rocks and the doom and stuff, it'd probably be a lot better, since, you know, real! And Rodney's really confused, and John says, yeah, you know, let's just focus on the impending doom, anyways, much better plan, you're totally right, McKay.
Rodney looks away from him, grabs a few things John can't really see in the dark, slots them in with a few other things, gives the whole thing a good solid shove, and turns to face John again. Doom averted, he says, now, you were saying, Colonel?
...andthentheyhavesex. Possibly they're rescued first, but, then again, maybe not.
Shit, I'm going to have to write this thing, aren't I? God damn.
lierduoma mentioned that she wanted to see the porntacular episode coda wherein we see the surveillance footage from the jumper. Because, and I'm quoting here,
"it's not Sam/Rodney at all. It's Rodney. Scared and hallucinating and TOUCHING HIMSELF IN THE DARK.
PEOPLE, WE WERE WATCHING HIM MASTURBATE FROM THE INSIDE OF HIS DUBIOUSLY FUNCTIONING BRAIN.
FUCK."
It made me think that what I want from this episode (or from fic, rather, following this episode) is the rewrite wherein Rodney also hallucinates John, to be the angel on his other shoulder. And John and Sam could argue and be hot, and eventually there could be threesome sex. Which would rock.
But, really? While, sure, I want that fic (like, a LOT), it's not what I really want. What I really want is the fic from a later mission, one that also goes horribly, horribly wrong. Rodney is again injured upon the head, and he's distressed and panicking, and he's alone, yet again, and this time there's genuinely nothing he can do. This in no way stops him from doing it; it just means that, again, he's actually making the situation worse by trying to fix it, and on some level he knows that, but he can't not do something, because that's who he is, he's the guy that does things. Maybe he's at the bottom of a hole? I don't know. Anyway, the point is that John gets there. Maybe he was in a different part of the hole; maybe they lowered him down to check on McKay, since he was being real quiet (Rodney: I was unconscious, you morons! Yes, of course I was being quiet!).
Because then, we have the following: Rodney, somewhere in the dark, with nothing to do but to wait to be rescued, climbing the walls trying to do something, anything, and then, suddenly (or, ok, not actually suddenly, really with lots of falling rock and manly grunts, but it seems suddenly to Rodney, partly because he's being all focused and partly because, you know, head injury), John! Saying, hey, calm down, McKay--Rodney! Calm down, sit down, there's a rescue team on their way, they're coming for us, we've just got to sit tight and--hey, no, don't touch that! Rodney! Rodney, listen to me--
Rodney, though, has BEEN HERE BEFORE. He knows the tricks his mind will play on him, and so he doesn't turn around, doesn't look at John even when he wants to so, so badly, just keeps working and maybe tosses out, over his shoulder, something of the lines of, oh, shut up, we've been here already and let me tell you--or, well, me, actually--anyway--I am not listening to my subconscious this time, because this time--and here he whirls around and brandishes something at John--this time I am right and I do not do this, if I listen to my hallucinations, I will die. For real, this time.
Which of course leads to a very awkward conversation, since Rodney never actually explained what he meant when he talked about Carter, post Grace Under Pressure, never mentioned it at all, in fact, and John tries (really, he does!) to make it clear that he actually exists, really he does, McKay, look, will you just--! He even pokes Rodney in the arm, to make him see, but Rodney! Rodney is NOT CONVINCED. Sam made out with him, and she was just a fragment of his subconscious, so if you don't mind--
Because, see, Rodney's right, this time. Well, not about John being a figment of his imagination, but about the part where he HAS TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW. The cave (it's definitely a cave) is collapsing, and not slowly enough that they can just sit and wait for rescue. Rodney has a plan, but he has to do something now now now. He asks John's opinion, because even if he isn't there, he's still Rodney, so he's got to be pretty smart, so, come on, what do you think of this?
Then, of course, once he understands it, John helps (although he's totally still boggling about the part where Rodney a)hallucinated Carter b) knew she was a hallucination, and c)made out with her anyways, and he's totally planning to give Rodney shit about this when he gets them out), because, as mentioned before, Rodney's right. Rodney, for his part, is a little confused. He doesn't really get why his subconscious has given him John, who's encouraging, unless--Oh, great. So now I subconsciously doubt myself, so I need someone around to keep my spirits up? God, this is humiliating, and I'm still not getting laid. And John--who's probably holding something up--is confused, because, what, you hallucinated the girl of your dreams and didn't get some? Rodney's huffy, but eventually admits that he knows she wouldn't, and so his subconscious knows it, too, so...
Man, John says. That sucks. But, McKay--Rodney. I mean, it's not that I wouldn't... I mean, you know. Because he would, really, and, you know, he's at least real, not a hallucination, although, fine, Rodney doesn't believe that, but, you know, even with the rocks and the doom and stuff, it'd probably be a lot better, since, you know, real! And Rodney's really confused, and John says, yeah, you know, let's just focus on the impending doom, anyways, much better plan, you're totally right, McKay.
Rodney looks away from him, grabs a few things John can't really see in the dark, slots them in with a few other things, gives the whole thing a good solid shove, and turns to face John again. Doom averted, he says, now, you were saying, Colonel?
...andthentheyhavesex. Possibly they're rescued first, but, then again, maybe not.
Shit, I'm going to have to write this thing, aren't I? God damn.