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omg i cannot even (14 stories)
When you see this, post a little weensy excerpt from as many random works-in-progress as you can find lying around. Who knows? Maybe inspiration will burst forth and do something, um, inspiration-y.
People, do you know how many random works-in-progress I have lying around? and how many of them haven't been worked on since - well, the most recent was at the beginning of April. Some of them haven't been touched since last year. I intend to finish them! but I'm kind of in a dead spot right now.
...still, that's the point of it all, innit? Here goes, then.
SGA:
1. untitled coda to the game
The last day of negotiations, Nola sits down next to him with a datapad and a sigh.
"Rodney," she says, "I know that you are only a man—"
"Well, not only a man," Sheppard says, rolling his eyes elaborately. Rodney kicks him under the table, and nods at Nola to continue.
"Still, your advice is valuable to me." She pauses again, and Rodney raises his eyebrows until she goes on, glancing over at Sheppard. "I have been reading some of your histories, and—"
Baden plunks himself down in the chair next to her, stares at Rodney and Sheppard. "Why does Dr. Weir want you two to marry?"
started out as 5 Things fic, turned into random marriage-fic. Stopped before I got to the sex, which was kind of the point - plus, there are structural issues like WHOA.
2. not struck dumb (i'm just dumb, that's all)
And he's proud of what happened next, actually: Sheppard going around and saying no to everyone who asked, everyone who offered, everyone who stared and salivated.
True, it reduced the productivity of engineering by a good twelve percent, and left Anthro useless for weeks, but anything that can halve the percentage of gibbering idiots in any given staff meeting is a good thing in Rodney's book.
He hadn't known that it would also reduce Lorne's access to the good coffee, though, which was a bit of a blow. Apparently Lorne had been getting it from Lindstrom in exchange for perpetual 6am guard duty in the gateroom, on the catwalk opposite the one where Sheppard and Ronon went running. Rodney had been getting it from him in exchange for his continued silence about that incident with the spaghetti sauce and the supply closet.
Still, the embarrassment value of that one was increasing as more and more people arrived and did stupider and stupider things. Rodney would have had to give up his source sometime soon, regardless. And anyway: in times of great crisis, some sacrifices need to be made.
Anyway, for the new, clean, sex-free John Sheppard, Rodney was willing to give up a lot.
the story about how John Sheppard never, never, never sees it coming. SOMEDAY I WILL FINISH THIS.
3. ot4-1
"Look," he said, as soon as the door opened in front of him, "do you have any hangups about multi-partner sex? I mean, serious moral objections," he added, because inexperience and uncertainty just meant you needed to try again with more lube.
orgies.
4. ot4-2
Experience had taught John not to try to write reports while Rodney was talking to him - he always had to redo them again, to take out the smartass comments. Anyway, Rodney could tell when you were ignoring him, and his revenge was never pretty.
Sure enough, Rodney looked up after a second, snapping his fingers at John and frowning.
"Ronon and Teyla are having sex with each other," he said, and John almost fell off his chair in surprise.
also orgies. WHAT.
5. psamtech in pegasus:
"Shut up," McKay said, before he'd even set foot inside the jumper, "Oh my God, shut up; shut up and get us off of this planet."
"Language, McKay," John said, just out of habit, but it took on a whole different dimension when he saw the kids.
this was going to be one of several stories where I talked about language a lot. then I got bored and wandered off to write smut, but I still love this idea.
6. get me a wig and a pair of shades:
"There's nothing natural about this situation, Rodney," he says, and figures that he mostly deserves the smack to the head that he gets.
"Oh, very funny, Sheppard," Rodney says, "mock me in my hour of need; I'm sure that will help resolve my unintentional sex change."
"Um." They both turn, and it's the waitress, standing next to their table with a brown-handled coffee pot and a terrified expression. "More coffee?" she asks.
"God, yes," Rodney says, and John just drops his head into his hands.
I like genderfuck?
7. ingram:
"No, seriously," Ronon said, "What happened to you?"
"We pulled them from an alternate universe by mistake," Meredith said, coming up behind them with Rodney in tow. "He's the other Sheppard, and he's the other me." Next to her, Rodney was tapping away at a laptop; he glanced up and made a noise that might have been a greeting, then went back to work.
"And in this alternate universe," Teyla sounded out the words, making a face, "you are a man?" Meredith had gone back to work as well, looking over Rodney's shoulder and pointing out something on the screen.
"Well, yes, obviously," she said, and then, "Oh, hey, could that be—" She and Rodney regrouped on a bench a few feet away, both of them hammering at their keyboards.
"Cool." They all stared at Ronon, who shrugged.
...I like genderfuck, okay?
8. manual language!
They stepped through the gate to a crowd of people, all of them heavily armed and looking nervous. There was a pause, and then a scuffle, and then a guy stepped forward and began to speak.
"I thought they didn't talk," John hissed, leaning towards Lorne, who shook his head, eyes wide.
"They didn't, last time," he muttered, "but that guy wasn't there, I'd swear it on his hat. " The hat in question was two feet tall and covered in orange feathers, so John was willing to bet that Lorne was right.
Another linguistics-geeky story. Yes, this is the same snippet I posted last time. No, I haven't made any more progress. Yes, I still plan to finish it someday.
9. nonsense:
"Go with the flow, McKay," Sheppard says, and of course he's fine, because he's the one sitting right next to the censer, getting hits of the 'medicinal' smoke every time he breathes. "Seriously, I'm fine," he says, and then, in an undertone, "Rodney, if you don't start meditating right now, I'm going to—"
"Fine! Fine!" Rodney says, not wanting to hear what sorts of threats Sheppard thinks will intimidate him. "I'll think my way to a new you." He closes his eyes, drops to his knees, and leans forward over Sheppard, pressing his hands together and hating his life.
Oh, I remember this one! It was sort of like bodyswap and sort of not. Maybe I'll finish it someday.
10. the one with the ballet:
"Seriously, are you seeing a theme here?" John just shrugged, leaned back in his seat, and applauded with the rest of the crowd. Hazik wandered over, then, bowing to them and smirking slightly.
"Truly," he said, "your forbears were men of great valor." John smiled back, nudging Rodney in the side when he started to talk.
"It's a good story," he said, and Hazik nodded.
"Well and well," he said. "Tonight, though, we feast!"
...does exactly what it says on the label. Look, I don't know, okay? It's just like that.
11. sga/bsg=DOOM
"Lieutenant Colonel John Shepherd, US Air Force," Shepherd replies. "These are Specialist Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagen," – the man-mountain and the woman nod in turn, slow and elegant – " and Dr. Rodney McKay." The third man jerks his attention away from the flight deck long enough to nod jerkily at Adama. "We'd salute," Shepherd adds, smiling slightly, "but I don’t think your friends up there would take too kindly to that." And frak, he's good; Kara hadn't even noticed the sharpshooters on the walk, even though it makes sense for them to be there.
This stemmed from a conversation about how Kara Thrace would have absolutely no patience with anybody on Atlantis.
12.this, this (is history): NO WAIT NEVERMIND. That, I've decided, was actually finished; you can read it here. *is pretty*
due South:
13. ds_harlequin:
"No."
Vecchio's face falls. "Come on, Stanley," he whines. "It's not that big a deal."
"Number one, yes it is," Ray says, crossing his arms. "Number two, hell no." The more he thinks about it, the more the idea sounds like total shit - which, when you consider how terrible it sounded the first time around, is really saying something.
I still love this story more than any three things ever, but now that I've figured out what happens, I'm less pushed to write it, which is a shame. You should give me shit about this!
14. v/k???:
"—kick you in the head, Vecchio, I swear on your mother's grave I will—"
"—say another word, one single fucking word about my mother—"
"—some sort of courting mechanism, I suppose, although it's certainly a strange one." It throws Ray, for a second, and Vecchio stops mid-threat, mouth hanging open. They turn and look, even though it's clear from the first hint of red at the corner of Ray's eye what he's going to see: Fraser, staring at the two of them his head cocked to one side, polite and curious and laughing his ass off at the two of them.
When they start to swear at him, it's the first time they've agreed on anything all day, and Ray's not entirely sure that that's not the point.
I have no idea when I started this, or where it was going. I think it was actually going to be a threesome, in the end? but I could be wrong.
OTHER:
15. zombies > colonies:
The first time Max dreams the city, she almost doesn't notice. It's there and gone in less than a five-count - flickering buildings and an orange sky, and then she's back to the forest, back to tranquility. Bets is counting, her voice steady and constant, and the numbers glow golden in Max's hands: two-forty-three, two-forty-two, two-forty-one.
Max walks the path, watching the numbers shrink, and doesn't think about the city again.
The next time, she's actually asleep - true sleep, in her own bed, nothing but the glow of the out-lights. She's curled on one side, knees and shoulders scrunched in, head tucked down.
I don't know, but I WANT to.
...yeah. aren't you glad you asked? And I even left off all of the bandslash (which is pretty much all in chats, and too much work to organize) and all of the things where I said, "oooh, I want to write about ____" and then, you know, never did.
People, do you know how many random works-in-progress I have lying around? and how many of them haven't been worked on since - well, the most recent was at the beginning of April. Some of them haven't been touched since last year. I intend to finish them! but I'm kind of in a dead spot right now.
...still, that's the point of it all, innit? Here goes, then.
SGA:
1. untitled coda to the game
The last day of negotiations, Nola sits down next to him with a datapad and a sigh.
"Rodney," she says, "I know that you are only a man—"
"Well, not only a man," Sheppard says, rolling his eyes elaborately. Rodney kicks him under the table, and nods at Nola to continue.
"Still, your advice is valuable to me." She pauses again, and Rodney raises his eyebrows until she goes on, glancing over at Sheppard. "I have been reading some of your histories, and—"
Baden plunks himself down in the chair next to her, stares at Rodney and Sheppard. "Why does Dr. Weir want you two to marry?"
started out as 5 Things fic, turned into random marriage-fic. Stopped before I got to the sex, which was kind of the point - plus, there are structural issues like WHOA.
2. not struck dumb (i'm just dumb, that's all)
And he's proud of what happened next, actually: Sheppard going around and saying no to everyone who asked, everyone who offered, everyone who stared and salivated.
True, it reduced the productivity of engineering by a good twelve percent, and left Anthro useless for weeks, but anything that can halve the percentage of gibbering idiots in any given staff meeting is a good thing in Rodney's book.
He hadn't known that it would also reduce Lorne's access to the good coffee, though, which was a bit of a blow. Apparently Lorne had been getting it from Lindstrom in exchange for perpetual 6am guard duty in the gateroom, on the catwalk opposite the one where Sheppard and Ronon went running. Rodney had been getting it from him in exchange for his continued silence about that incident with the spaghetti sauce and the supply closet.
Still, the embarrassment value of that one was increasing as more and more people arrived and did stupider and stupider things. Rodney would have had to give up his source sometime soon, regardless. And anyway: in times of great crisis, some sacrifices need to be made.
Anyway, for the new, clean, sex-free John Sheppard, Rodney was willing to give up a lot.
the story about how John Sheppard never, never, never sees it coming. SOMEDAY I WILL FINISH THIS.
3. ot4-1
"Look," he said, as soon as the door opened in front of him, "do you have any hangups about multi-partner sex? I mean, serious moral objections," he added, because inexperience and uncertainty just meant you needed to try again with more lube.
orgies.
4. ot4-2
Experience had taught John not to try to write reports while Rodney was talking to him - he always had to redo them again, to take out the smartass comments. Anyway, Rodney could tell when you were ignoring him, and his revenge was never pretty.
Sure enough, Rodney looked up after a second, snapping his fingers at John and frowning.
"Ronon and Teyla are having sex with each other," he said, and John almost fell off his chair in surprise.
also orgies. WHAT.
5. psamtech in pegasus:
"Shut up," McKay said, before he'd even set foot inside the jumper, "Oh my God, shut up; shut up and get us off of this planet."
"Language, McKay," John said, just out of habit, but it took on a whole different dimension when he saw the kids.
this was going to be one of several stories where I talked about language a lot. then I got bored and wandered off to write smut, but I still love this idea.
6. get me a wig and a pair of shades:
"There's nothing natural about this situation, Rodney," he says, and figures that he mostly deserves the smack to the head that he gets.
"Oh, very funny, Sheppard," Rodney says, "mock me in my hour of need; I'm sure that will help resolve my unintentional sex change."
"Um." They both turn, and it's the waitress, standing next to their table with a brown-handled coffee pot and a terrified expression. "More coffee?" she asks.
"God, yes," Rodney says, and John just drops his head into his hands.
I like genderfuck?
7. ingram:
"No, seriously," Ronon said, "What happened to you?"
"We pulled them from an alternate universe by mistake," Meredith said, coming up behind them with Rodney in tow. "He's the other Sheppard, and he's the other me." Next to her, Rodney was tapping away at a laptop; he glanced up and made a noise that might have been a greeting, then went back to work.
"And in this alternate universe," Teyla sounded out the words, making a face, "you are a man?" Meredith had gone back to work as well, looking over Rodney's shoulder and pointing out something on the screen.
"Well, yes, obviously," she said, and then, "Oh, hey, could that be—" She and Rodney regrouped on a bench a few feet away, both of them hammering at their keyboards.
"Cool." They all stared at Ronon, who shrugged.
...I like genderfuck, okay?
8. manual language!
They stepped through the gate to a crowd of people, all of them heavily armed and looking nervous. There was a pause, and then a scuffle, and then a guy stepped forward and began to speak.
"I thought they didn't talk," John hissed, leaning towards Lorne, who shook his head, eyes wide.
"They didn't, last time," he muttered, "but that guy wasn't there, I'd swear it on his hat. " The hat in question was two feet tall and covered in orange feathers, so John was willing to bet that Lorne was right.
Another linguistics-geeky story. Yes, this is the same snippet I posted last time. No, I haven't made any more progress. Yes, I still plan to finish it someday.
9. nonsense:
"Go with the flow, McKay," Sheppard says, and of course he's fine, because he's the one sitting right next to the censer, getting hits of the 'medicinal' smoke every time he breathes. "Seriously, I'm fine," he says, and then, in an undertone, "Rodney, if you don't start meditating right now, I'm going to—"
"Fine! Fine!" Rodney says, not wanting to hear what sorts of threats Sheppard thinks will intimidate him. "I'll think my way to a new you." He closes his eyes, drops to his knees, and leans forward over Sheppard, pressing his hands together and hating his life.
Oh, I remember this one! It was sort of like bodyswap and sort of not. Maybe I'll finish it someday.
10. the one with the ballet:
"Seriously, are you seeing a theme here?" John just shrugged, leaned back in his seat, and applauded with the rest of the crowd. Hazik wandered over, then, bowing to them and smirking slightly.
"Truly," he said, "your forbears were men of great valor." John smiled back, nudging Rodney in the side when he started to talk.
"It's a good story," he said, and Hazik nodded.
"Well and well," he said. "Tonight, though, we feast!"
...does exactly what it says on the label. Look, I don't know, okay? It's just like that.
11. sga/bsg=DOOM
"Lieutenant Colonel John Shepherd, US Air Force," Shepherd replies. "These are Specialist Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagen," – the man-mountain and the woman nod in turn, slow and elegant – " and Dr. Rodney McKay." The third man jerks his attention away from the flight deck long enough to nod jerkily at Adama. "We'd salute," Shepherd adds, smiling slightly, "but I don’t think your friends up there would take too kindly to that." And frak, he's good; Kara hadn't even noticed the sharpshooters on the walk, even though it makes sense for them to be there.
This stemmed from a conversation about how Kara Thrace would have absolutely no patience with anybody on Atlantis.
12.
due South:
13. ds_harlequin:
"No."
Vecchio's face falls. "Come on, Stanley," he whines. "It's not that big a deal."
"Number one, yes it is," Ray says, crossing his arms. "Number two, hell no." The more he thinks about it, the more the idea sounds like total shit - which, when you consider how terrible it sounded the first time around, is really saying something.
I still love this story more than any three things ever, but now that I've figured out what happens, I'm less pushed to write it, which is a shame. You should give me shit about this!
14. v/k???:
"—kick you in the head, Vecchio, I swear on your mother's grave I will—"
"—say another word, one single fucking word about my mother—"
"—some sort of courting mechanism, I suppose, although it's certainly a strange one." It throws Ray, for a second, and Vecchio stops mid-threat, mouth hanging open. They turn and look, even though it's clear from the first hint of red at the corner of Ray's eye what he's going to see: Fraser, staring at the two of them his head cocked to one side, polite and curious and laughing his ass off at the two of them.
When they start to swear at him, it's the first time they've agreed on anything all day, and Ray's not entirely sure that that's not the point.
I have no idea when I started this, or where it was going. I think it was actually going to be a threesome, in the end? but I could be wrong.
OTHER:
15. zombies > colonies:
The first time Max dreams the city, she almost doesn't notice. It's there and gone in less than a five-count - flickering buildings and an orange sky, and then she's back to the forest, back to tranquility. Bets is counting, her voice steady and constant, and the numbers glow golden in Max's hands: two-forty-three, two-forty-two, two-forty-one.
Max walks the path, watching the numbers shrink, and doesn't think about the city again.
The next time, she's actually asleep - true sleep, in her own bed, nothing but the glow of the out-lights. She's curled on one side, knees and shoulders scrunched in, head tucked down.
I don't know, but I WANT to.
...yeah. aren't you glad you asked? And I even left off all of the bandslash (which is pretty much all in chats, and too much work to organize) and all of the things where I said, "oooh, I want to write about ____" and then, you know, never did.