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the once and future NAKED BATMAN
Okay, so, hi, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about The Dark Knight Rises. Trust me: there is absolutely nobody on this planet who is more surprised about that than I am.
First off, disclosure: I didn't really expect to enjoy this movie. As superheroes go - and you can disagree, whatever, your mileage may vary - Batman is not one of my favorites. I'm not 100% sure why, but it's got something to do with how human most of the batvillains are - like, hi, I can fire up the internet and read a hundred stories about people being horrible to each other without even breaking a sweat. I watched The Dark Knight and it freaked me the fuck out for exactly that reason - which, yes, that was the goal! …but I tend to want a little bit more escapism in my escapism.
And, you know, I'm still not entirely sure that I liked TDKR? But god damn did I enjoy that experience, and holy fuck do I have thoughts.
I liked:
1) CATWOMAN. Ugh, remember when Anne Hathaway was just getting started as an actress, and wasn't especially good and looked like a robot a lot of the time? Damn, have times ever changed. She stole every single scene she was in, and I loved it.
1b) Although, I'm sorry, are we seriously supposed to believe that she left that life behind to play happy families with Bruce Wayne? Because, okay, yes, I can see how that was set up, with her wanting the Clean Slate and whatever…but I still don't buy it. Wanting to not be a wanted criminal anymore DOES NOT EQUAL not being a badass who has way better things to do than be Bruce Wayne's eye candy.
2) CASTING. One of the reasons that I went to see this movie in the first place was because GOD DAMN, THAT CAST, and I was not in the least bit disappointed. Can we say "star-studded"? Because, yeah. Strong work, casting. Strong fucking work.
3)…okay, I am easily manipulated by an "assembling the team" montage, this is true, but the last five minutes of the movie? SEAL CLAPS OF GLEE.
3b) And now I want the movie where Selena Kyle ditches Bruce Wayne in Italy and goes back to Gotham, and she and Lucius Fox mentor the shit out of the new Batman and everything is amazing.
I disliked:
1) The "Pit". Hello, steaming pile of exoticizing bullshit! How nice to see you! NOT.
2) …I'm sorry, are we seriously not even supposed to blink at the idea that you can whack a nuclear warhead into a building without anything bad happening? Like, okay, maybe it's got special shielding so that it can't be set off by concussive force…but that's a skyscraper, dude. At the very least you need to offer me a compelling explanation for why you're not peeing yourself in fear.
3) Given the choice between 45 minutes exploring Batman's manpain and 45 minutes exploring what it's like to live in Gotham under siege, in a city where the social order has been turned completely on its head, where citizens are actively encouraged not to trust each other, where the outside world becomes actively mistrustful of Gotham…look, I'm sorry, I just can't give a shit about Bruce "one million angry pushups!" Wayne.
3b) Which reminds me that the fight scenes in this dragged so bad, ugh, *punch punch punch punch YAWN*
4) Miranda Tate. Oh man, I was so pissed off about Miranda Tate, on so many different levels. First off, obviously, there's the fact that there are literally two women in the entire movie with more than two lines…and both of them are evil? And one of them is "reformed", and the other one dies? Like, I know I shouldn't be surprised, because LOL NOLAN and LOL BATMAN and LOL MODERN SOCIETY, but, like, seriously. We can't do any better than that?
4b) I was also really annoyed by the Miranda Tate + Bane reveal because it's just so boring. Oooh, there's a sexy lady using her sexiness to lure people into a false sense of security before her boyfriend comes and smashes them to pieces! Never seen that before! …oh, wait.
Just once, just ONCE, I want to see a storyline where it's a dude using his pretty face and nice body to lure people into a false sense of security. TOM HARDY COULD DO THAT, DON'T FRONT.
4c) And finally, I hated the Miranda Tate/Bane reveal because it made the entire film way less…I don't even know. Scary? Interesting? Because the thing that Batman does really well is to have completely terrifying villains - villains like the Joker, who honestly see nothing wrong with what they're doing, who even think that they're doing a good thing.
And Bane, without Miranda Tate, was almost that kind of villain. The problems he's responding to - the corruption, the inequality - those are real problems, and they're problems that his actions do, in scary fucked-up ways, resolve. Yeah, they kill a fuck of a lot of people and traumatize the rest - but the corrupt government officials are out of power! And everyone is equal(ly miserable)! Bane is scary because he does appalling things to fix appalling problems, yeah, and he's even scarier when you think he might just be right.
But then it turns out that, no, this is all about vengeance. And women manipulating men to get vengeance, and not caring how many people get hurt in the process.
And that story? It's been done. I'm not interested.
…On the other hand, I spent a lot of quality time leaning over to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
soundslikej and whispering WELL NOT MY MOM OKAY SHE DIDN'T IT WAS INJUSTICE / SHUT UP BATMAN YOU'RE RUINING THE SONG and laughing until I cried. So that was awesome.
Also, I watched this video of NASA mission control during the Curiosity landing and legitimately teared up. SCIENCE.
First off, disclosure: I didn't really expect to enjoy this movie. As superheroes go - and you can disagree, whatever, your mileage may vary - Batman is not one of my favorites. I'm not 100% sure why, but it's got something to do with how human most of the batvillains are - like, hi, I can fire up the internet and read a hundred stories about people being horrible to each other without even breaking a sweat. I watched The Dark Knight and it freaked me the fuck out for exactly that reason - which, yes, that was the goal! …but I tend to want a little bit more escapism in my escapism.
And, you know, I'm still not entirely sure that I liked TDKR? But god damn did I enjoy that experience, and holy fuck do I have thoughts.
I liked:
1) CATWOMAN. Ugh, remember when Anne Hathaway was just getting started as an actress, and wasn't especially good and looked like a robot a lot of the time? Damn, have times ever changed. She stole every single scene she was in, and I loved it.
1b) Although, I'm sorry, are we seriously supposed to believe that she left that life behind to play happy families with Bruce Wayne? Because, okay, yes, I can see how that was set up, with her wanting the Clean Slate and whatever…but I still don't buy it. Wanting to not be a wanted criminal anymore DOES NOT EQUAL not being a badass who has way better things to do than be Bruce Wayne's eye candy.
2) CASTING. One of the reasons that I went to see this movie in the first place was because GOD DAMN, THAT CAST, and I was not in the least bit disappointed. Can we say "star-studded"? Because, yeah. Strong work, casting. Strong fucking work.
3)…okay, I am easily manipulated by an "assembling the team" montage, this is true, but the last five minutes of the movie? SEAL CLAPS OF GLEE.
3b) And now I want the movie where Selena Kyle ditches Bruce Wayne in Italy and goes back to Gotham, and she and Lucius Fox mentor the shit out of the new Batman and everything is amazing.
I disliked:
1) The "Pit". Hello, steaming pile of exoticizing bullshit! How nice to see you! NOT.
2) …I'm sorry, are we seriously not even supposed to blink at the idea that you can whack a nuclear warhead into a building without anything bad happening? Like, okay, maybe it's got special shielding so that it can't be set off by concussive force…but that's a skyscraper, dude. At the very least you need to offer me a compelling explanation for why you're not peeing yourself in fear.
3) Given the choice between 45 minutes exploring Batman's manpain and 45 minutes exploring what it's like to live in Gotham under siege, in a city where the social order has been turned completely on its head, where citizens are actively encouraged not to trust each other, where the outside world becomes actively mistrustful of Gotham…look, I'm sorry, I just can't give a shit about Bruce "one million angry pushups!" Wayne.
3b) Which reminds me that the fight scenes in this dragged so bad, ugh, *punch punch punch punch YAWN*
4) Miranda Tate. Oh man, I was so pissed off about Miranda Tate, on so many different levels. First off, obviously, there's the fact that there are literally two women in the entire movie with more than two lines…and both of them are evil? And one of them is "reformed", and the other one dies? Like, I know I shouldn't be surprised, because LOL NOLAN and LOL BATMAN and LOL MODERN SOCIETY, but, like, seriously. We can't do any better than that?
4b) I was also really annoyed by the Miranda Tate + Bane reveal because it's just so boring. Oooh, there's a sexy lady using her sexiness to lure people into a false sense of security before her boyfriend comes and smashes them to pieces! Never seen that before! …oh, wait.
Just once, just ONCE, I want to see a storyline where it's a dude using his pretty face and nice body to lure people into a false sense of security. TOM HARDY COULD DO THAT, DON'T FRONT.
4c) And finally, I hated the Miranda Tate/Bane reveal because it made the entire film way less…I don't even know. Scary? Interesting? Because the thing that Batman does really well is to have completely terrifying villains - villains like the Joker, who honestly see nothing wrong with what they're doing, who even think that they're doing a good thing.
And Bane, without Miranda Tate, was almost that kind of villain. The problems he's responding to - the corruption, the inequality - those are real problems, and they're problems that his actions do, in scary fucked-up ways, resolve. Yeah, they kill a fuck of a lot of people and traumatize the rest - but the corrupt government officials are out of power! And everyone is equal(ly miserable)! Bane is scary because he does appalling things to fix appalling problems, yeah, and he's even scarier when you think he might just be right.
But then it turns out that, no, this is all about vengeance. And women manipulating men to get vengeance, and not caring how many people get hurt in the process.
And that story? It's been done. I'm not interested.
…On the other hand, I spent a lot of quality time leaning over to
soundslikej and whispering WELL NOT MY MOM OKAY SHE DIDN'T IT WAS INJUSTICE / SHUT UP BATMAN YOU'RE RUINING THE SONG and laughing until I cried. So that was awesome.Also, I watched this video of NASA mission control during the Curiosity landing and legitimately teared up. SCIENCE.