the internet is refusing to entertain me this morning. *grumpyface* clearly, the logical response is to post snippets-of-stuff, right? of course right!

Jori, don't read this. IT HAS BABIES IN. (follows on from here. kidfic, genderswap, nonsense.)

( Christmas 2007 )

Yay for wip_amnesty! I'm a fan.

1) the one about the cat. I really don't know what this was actually going to be about - I wrote this much, and then I took a nap, and when I woke up, I couldn't remember where the ending was supposed to be. Still, I like the history of Rodney's cat, so I saved it...but, honestly, it's never going to be finished.

( Rodney McKay's cat was completely insane. )

2) Rejoice Greatly Because, yes: I am a cheap whore for singing. Abandoned because, really, who else would have wanted to read this?

( Rejoice Greatly )

3) Earthside Genderfuck I'm still writing this story! But, really, I realized that this wasn't the way to tell it.

( Why, John, how...expository of you. )

4) Advances At one point, this summer, I woke up in the middle of the night with an idea for a long, plotty story about Rodney and Elizabeth, and spent several hours sitting in the bathroom, typing like a fiend, outlining stuff.

Then I realized that I didn't actually want to write the story. Ooops?

( this conversation survived, however. )

Fly free, little stories! I'll be over here, reading about OT and HATING MY LIFE.

Also, I posted a thing over at mjcountdown! Because shoemaster told me to, and I'm...pretty much her flunky. Ma-Agbor's House Of Fine Garments, outtake from the ballet-fic*.


*Which is becoming the fic of DOOM, oh God, and even now that I've worked out that issue in the middle and done the name-changes I needed to, it's still going to eat my FACE, I know it for sure...

Right now, I'm actively working on five stories, and thinking intently about two more.

Of the five:

Two are co-written; both of these are crossovers. One of them is het, and the other one is gen with undertones of ORGY.
The other three are all primarily McKay/Sheppard, although one of them comes with a side order of Sheppard/AU-McKay and McKay/AU-McKay. All three are planning to have actual sex in them at some point, but none of them have made it that far. As of today, two of them are over 6000 words and nowhere near done; the other is hovering around 3,000, looking resentful and sad.

Most importantly, they all have characters who share a name.

Let me repeat that, for those of you who weren't listening the first time: all three of the stories I'm actively writing on my own right now have two characters with the same name. ALL OF THEM.

The extremely-belated GUP-coda has Sheppard and hallucination-Sheppard, of course, and Rodney making a distinction between them.

The Story About The Ballet has John and Rodney, and also the actors who play them in the titular ballet. Really. I'm not making this up, except in the sense that of course I am, because I'm writing it. (side note: rike_tikki_tavi, you're right about it not being anything like done. I mean, I knew that, sort of, but now I'm re-reading it and saying, yeah, this is going to be a lot longer.)

The story about Ingram McKay has two McKays and two Sheppards, although one of the McKays is a girl, which makes it slightly easier.

...I mean, is my subconscious trying to tell me something, here? Because if so, I really don't get it. Dear brain, WTF? Love, Me.

Also, because I'm a ho, ( have a cookie )

All right. Back to the mines fic!

So I was looking through my folder of "Things I Need to Finish", and found this. I remember (vaguely) sitting down to write it, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was going to be about.

( A couple hundred words of Sheppard and Ronon. )

Did I talk to any of you about this? Do you know where I was planning to take it? Do you have any suggestions about where it should go? It's set post-Sateda (which I only know because the document is titled "post-Sateda"), but I really don't remember where it was going, except I think McKay was the problem.

So, um. If any of you know what I was thinking, could you tell me? That'd be awesome.

[please don't link anywhere, though]

All right: I have a ( Very Important Fandom Question: )

(only, OK, not really. It's more of a WWJSD question, I guess, but still! Important!)

...and, yes: this does have to do with Earth Boys Are Easy, which, yes, is the foursome porn. Shut up and vote, you.

Also, um. If I were to write RayK/RayV/Fraser threesome porn for my tag at stop_drop_porn, would any of you still be my friends be willing to look it over before I post, to check my Vecchio? And, you know, to check my smut, since moresomes are hard to write without losing track of the hands.

In other, non-perverted-person news, my hair looks hot and I win at meatloaf. This is a good way for Saturday to be, I think. Also, I've started using the word 'vexing' a lot, and I truly can't fathom why.

So first, we have the part where I'm demanding:

Who wants to beta? (not you, riverlight, I know you're busy). It's SGA, surprise-surprise! About 2400 words right now, although it's not quite done yet; I know pretty much where it's going, but I need to get some sleep before I can get it there. It's teamfic, and by teamfic I mean team kissing porn, which, yes, would be a foursome. And, um. Aliens make them do it? Except that, really, no. It's not that story. It's the story about how there isn't any kissing in the Pegasus Galaxy. (and aliens make them demonstrate, for quantities of 'alien'='Ronon Dex')

So, any takers? It won't be really finished until tomorrow afternoon or so, and I'm not too demanding in terms of turnaround time. If you dig, drop me a line with your info in the comments—if it's in the next half hour or so, I can even send you what I've got so far before I crash tonight, but if not, I'll email it you in the morning.

And now the funny:

Work is kind of awesome, sometimes, like when we talk about dying and read sex books together, but sometimes it kind of sucks. One such time was today, when I had to sort a bunch of forms according to what member of the senior staff needed to see them. For an hour. Suck, suck, suck, especially when you're already tired and fuzzy and not at all inclined to read things.

But the senior staff are identified by three-letter codes, which I presume are their initials? And one of the people I had forms for today was JPF.

And verily, I say unto you all: I spent at least five minutes staring at the form, trying to figure out what JPF stood for. I mean, you've got your Real Person Fiction, and your Fictional Person Fiction, and then...Jupiter Person Fiction? Jewish Person Fiction? Jittery Person Fiction?

Oh, life. You resemble crack quite nicely.

"You want to—OK, fine. Whatever."
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing—ignore me, really."
"No, seriously, what?"
"No, it's nothing."
"Look, will you just tell me what's wrong."
"No, really—I mean, I'm all in favor of people making their own choices and doing what makes them happy, and if it will make you happy to go down in history as the stupidest person in two universes, then by all means, go right ahead and do that."
"..."

Please: remind me that I am already busy, with school-shaped things and other writing projects and figuring out my study abroad and hopefully soon having a job, to start writing another epic.

Even if that epic is the story about the team going to an alternate universe, one where Rodney McKay is actually Rachael McKay (or some other, less awful, girl's name beginning with an R), Jeannie McKay's sister, who's just as smart as Rodney, and just as evil, but much more passive-agressive about it, and a little more self-contained. They have witty banter! (and possibly also sex, oh god, somebody stop me before I write this! I'm begging you...)

...

( OK, but if I did ever write that story, the beginning of it would go like this: )
\


...this icon has never been more apropriate.

John and Fraser form the Women Are Scary, Where Can I Hide From Them? club.

Ray and Rodney, in response, form the Why Am I Working With Someone So Unaware Of His Own Sex Appeal, And Furthermore What Does He Have That I Don't? club.

Or possibly the Hands Off, Lady, Can't You See He's Not Interested? (And Anyway, He's With Me) club.

oh, our baby will be lovely. (Although I don't know that you want me to name it - I'm somewhat notorious for trying to get a friend to name her unborn child Obadiah.)

Hey, you know, if I’m going to be writing this, anyone got any thoughts on a title?

( The story about Rodney's Christmas t-shirt. In this part, Teyla thinks about her people, and about tea. Rodney argues with John, gets slimed, argues with Carson, wears his damn t-shirt, doesn't argue with Ronon, and eats french fries. Yeah. )

Teyla POV? Dear my brain: what the hell? Still, I'm pleased; I think Teyla works for this one. Don't know if Ronon can be the next part, which would give a really nice little feeling to the whole thing, or if it'll have to be Rodney again. Or possibly John.

There are maybe...two parts of this left? Which means I'll maybe finish it before I go back to school. yays!

...and then there are the other two stories I need to write. Oh well.

Enjoy!

So, ok, thinking about ( Grace Under Pressure (spoilers) )

Shit, I'm going to have to write this thing, aren't I? God damn.