the word in language is half someone else's

So I've been thinking about the idea of Atlantis as a sentient being, and particularly as the portrayal of Atlantis as female, and I've had ( a few thoughts )

1. ( thoughts on the strikethrough whosywhatsis )

2. Conversations I Probably Shouldn't Be Having At Work, #9781:

etben: man, I want to write dirty fucking.
but I don't know who should fuck!
I am very unspecific, is the thing
I want to write fucking!
I don't know what kind.
shoemaster: other than 'dirty'
etben: right@
...possibly I just want to have sex.
*thinks about it*

But, actually? I want to write about fucking, I've decided. It's my last shift at work until sometime in July! I want to make it memorable! And porn is always memorable, right? OF COURSE RIGHT.

SO: Give me a prompt! In any fandom that I write, or that you know I'm familiar with, or any combination of those fandoms. Any number of characters! Crossovers! Orgies! And I will write you at least 100 words of fiction without any redeeming social value.

(Full disclosure: I am absurdly ADD today - I started and discarded half a dozen ideas for stories in chat with shoemaster in the space of, like, twenty minutes. Also, I won't be able to post any pornfiction until after I get off shift, since the bossmen have decided (wisely, really) that lj is not a site to which the student staff should have access on the work computers. Still! I will think about your prompts with GREAT DEVOTION, and post the results from home.)

never done one of these before...

( running commentary on sga 3x05, progeny )

...Yeah. I'll try to be coherent about that later.

Things That Were Good Today:

1) Chocolate Ice Cream. For breakfast. Yay! I'm a grown-up.

2) Simon and Garfunkel, played very loud. Dude, don't laugh.

3) Not going to work! Not having to go to work until Monday!

4) Long floppy skirts that twirl and swoosh.

5) Eating food. (Yes, I know. Amazing how that improves your mood, isn't it?)

6) No roommate for the weekend!

7) due South.

Specifically, the very first season of due South.

Which, really? I did not expect. I mean, I expected to enjoy it, because, hi, due South! due South is awesome. But, OK, I'll be honest: I came to due South via fandom, and so, really? I've more or less imprinted on Ray Kowalski. He is my darling dear, and I love him muchly. riverlight can attest, I've spent a lot of time jumping up and down and babbling incoherently about how he and Fraser are so married it hurts. And, I mean, in a non-pairing-specific-way, I just love him. He makes sense to me on a lot of levels, and he's the character (of all my fandoms) whose voice I'm most comfortable with, in terms of writing. He is the bestest boy in the world.

But, that said? I really like Ray Vecchio. I mean, I really like him. True, his fashion sense is clearly nonexistent, and he's not my physical type, but he's awesome. He is the underdog, and I am rooting for him. He and Fraser have the best banter I've ever seen, in any fandom - maybe even better than Fraser and Ray Kowalski? But then I don't know. I feel conflicted.

I don't know that I could slash them - I mean, in fairness, I've only watched the pilot and the first episode so far, so I have no grounds to judge - but I already have a lot of love for Ray Vecchio. LOVE LIKE HEY THERE.

Other things of interest:

CHICAGO CHICAGO HI HI CHICAGO! I mean, I know (or at least I'm assuming) it's not all Chicago, but enough of the views are Chicago that I have to bounce up and down. Also: how much fun is it that they're clearly driving down the same streets again and again? FUN FUN FUN. Not that it particularly matters, since the first two floors or so always look the same to me, when I'm in downtown-downtown Chicago.

...is it just me, or is Dief really clearly not always the same dog? I mean, I knew that it wasn't always the same dog, but it seems like right now it's really obvious.

I hadn't realized how badly Ray Vecchio was doing, when Fraser arrived - I mean, from the rest of the series, and from fic, I hadn't really gotten a good idea of how little-respected he was, and how close he was to getting fired. It adds an interesting dimension, one that really isn't there, with Ray Kowalski - because of course Ray Kowalski (as Ray Vecchio) can't get fired, although by that point presumably Ray Vecchio's own record is strong enough that it's not a serious concern. Still: Ray Vecchio is not the duck I thought he was, from his brief mentions in my general reading material and from his appearance in Call of the Wild. Interesting. Veery eeeenterestink.

ALSO: Can we all just talk about how hot the brown uniform is? Mmmmm. Because, I mean, Fraser's very attractive anyway, and he does look good in the red, but the brown is just tasty. Not to mention considerably more accessible-looking, which I can definitely see would be a good thing.

ALSO-ALSO: I've just realized that my Boots Of Doom And Also Sex (the boots I will one day own, but not until I start making enough money to buy them on less than a week's pay) are totally Mountie Boots. The design is remarkably similar - I can't believe I didn't notice it before now. Clearly, I secretly want to be a mountie.

ALSO-ALSO-ALSO: where is all the fic with the crazy reporter chick from Diefenbaker's Day Off? Seriously, yo! I want someone to write this like nobody's business (although I'd like it even more if they gave her a haircut first, because the hair she's got? Ick. Ick. Ick.).

Shut up don't mock me! She's freaky and kind of awesome and I really like her. You could even set it in the RayK seasons, and have Plot And Drama, because she'd know that Ray Kowalski was Not Who He Claimed To Be. (And, OK, I kind of pretty much really want Fraser and RayK to have a threesome with her. Because - you know what? Just because. Threesomes need no justification.) Or it could just be goofy fun. Seriously - does she die or something? Marry a Mormon? Move to DC? I feel like there should be fic involving her. So come on, people! Point me!

also, this has my undying love. Fucking UNDYING, people:

Fraser: She shot my hat, Ray.
Ray: She shot you in the hat?
Fraser: I can feel air coming in through the hole.
Ray: She shot you in the hat, all right.
Fraser: How does it look?
Ray: It doesn't look good.

and this:

Fraser: Well, if you didn't know what I was planning, then why did you play along?
Ray: I wasn't playing along, Fraser, I was begging for my life.
Fraser: Oh! Oh, well, uh. My mistake.

Dear Fraser and Ray, HI! Can I marry the both of you? But mostly you, Fraser.


So, yes, due South made my day all better. Considering that my list of Things That Made My Day Lousy would have looked something like this:

1) Everything else.

All I can say is that due South is some strong stuff. Now - do I watch another episode before crashing, or am I exhausted enough that I'll be able to get to sleep without having to have hysterics first? Decisions, decisions...

Edited to Add (not that anyone's seen this since I posted, in all likelihood, so it's not like it matters...):

I am a special, special bear. I looked at the date on my computer, noted that it was April 1, took an April Fool's Day meme, and yet? Still did not realize that April Fool's Day was, you know, now. Sigh.

( The meme was pretty funny. (although if any of you are going to do any of these things? please don't.) )

NOTE: this only really applies to the English I happen to speak, which is the English of American Midwestern Intellectuals. Any and all statements I make are null and void elsewhere.

( And now, some musing on eye dialect. And Ray Kowalski, and also Rodney McKay. Because everything is about fandom. )

Does that make sense to anyone who's not, um, hip-deep in this stuff already? Because it's really interesting to me, but that's no good unless I've managed to, in some way, make it accessible to those of you who aren't, you know, tremendous dorks. (Or at least not tremendous dorks in this particular way.)


Although, damn. Now I want someone to write fic in which Ray has his accent pointed out to him, and gets really self-conscious about it, and tries to talk 'properly', and drives Fraser nuts. Any volunteers to write it? I'd be totally willing to provide all of the linguistics meta-babble that Fraser would spew, in an attempt to make him feel better about his accent...

Aw, fuck. *adds it to the list of stories she'll write one of these days*


[ETA: As tovalentin pointed out, most non-American English speakers say [zed], not [zee], so < ZedPM > is really only an American-listening-to-a-Canadian thing. Yay for accuracy!]

Interview went passing well - the guy seemed concerned about my taking a full load of classes and then working 15 hours a week, but, I mean, really? For the past three quarters, I've been doing theater of one kind or another, and that's usually closer to 20 hours a week, almost all of them in the evenings. 15 hours, M-F, between 8h30 and 5? Sounds really excellent. Apparently I'll hear back from him within a few days, though, which is good.

But that's not why we're here. We're here ( to talk about Coup D'Etat! (spoilers, dur) )

In other news, I really want someone to make a songvid to Erin McKeown's "White City", which is my new SGA song - it's all happy and accomplishmenty.

Raise! and be raised!
our hands face up and our faces forward -
show us the beauty!
show us where to aim our story -

DUDE.

because no sooner have I finished rambling about the Hive and how it is and what it makes me want (if you're too lazy to read that: I want John to freak the fuck out). And then, then, then...eretria, who is a ROCKSTAR, uploaded Epiphany in .wmv form, which meant I could watch it, which meant exceedingly happy thérèses.

Then, though, as though the world wasn't loving me enough, the episode? was totally EXACTLY what I wanted. Like, to the letter.

Life, she is good.

( More episode commentary! (this time, though, I took notes. two index cards, front and back, covered with scribbles of squee! I am in so much love right now.) )

It's kind of neat being in a fandom where I'm actually catching things as they air, instead of coming late to the canon. exhilirating!

seriously, apart from the hot mansexing, this episode gave me pretty much all I wanted right now, particularly from John Sheppard. You can go now, boys...

So, I'm thinking about Sheppard.

More specifically, I'm trying to figure out how to reconcile the two aspects of Sheppard that are currently sharing an uneasy coexistence in my head. Because, see, there's the Sheppard I wrote the other day, in the flashfic, who is all things to all people, running around (subtly, so as not to muss the hair, but still) trying his damndest to keep them all safe, doing everything he can just to make their lives better and easier. Sure, he's suave and chill and so charming you could shine your shoes with him, but the guy genuinely cares about all the people he works with. I see this particularly when he goes after Sumner and the others, and when he brings the Athosians back. I see it when he doesn't want to leave Atlantis. I also see it when he's letting Teyla teach him to fight with the sticks, because it's not a skill he needs to be learning, but it seems to do her a lot of good to teach it. I mean, sure, he enjoys it, but I don't think he does a lot of things just because they're fun, not in his day-to-day life. He's too aware, I guess. He's very good at making the things he has to do enjoyable, but they're always first. This is the John Sheppard I think appears most often in fanfiction, particularly in fanfiction that uses him as one of the romantic leads. It makes sense, really—it's much easier to imagine this Sheppard in love than the other Sheppard there is.

This, of course, is Major Sheppard, Professional Scary Bastard.

Because how many of the Genii does Sheppard take out during The Storm/The Eye? And, just in general, does he ever seem even slightly bothered by all the killing he does? Admittedly, he does this for a living, and admittedly, we maybe aren't seeing as much of his tortured underbelly as perhaps the more angstthirsty of us would like (includes self). But still. Where are this man's coping mechanisms?

Beyond his sheer willingness to resort to violence, um, a lot, I feel like he doesn't actually connect with other people very well. He smiles and nods, has a witty comment and a charming smirk, and then he just goes off and does whatever the fuck he wants. And I can't help but feel that Lt Colonel John Sheppard has the capacity to become a seriously scary guy, given half a chance. All in a good cause, of course...

Which, of course, is why I love him, but it makes it hard to get into his head.

More later, when the stats is done, or maybe the long-plotted entry on Genderfuck and Why I Like It. Or maybe nothing at all.