the word in language is half someone else's

A friend asked me if I had Thoughts on cell phone bans in school. Unsurprisingly, I absolutely do, so I dusted off Dreamwidth to do an Opinion Yell.

My biggest hesitation on banning cell phones in school has to do with the notion that cell phones specifically are the problem. There's a lot of data suggesting that kids are more depressed and anxious these days than ever before; I have two major questions about that data:

1. How sure are we that this represents an actual rise in rates of depression and anxiety, and not just an increase in the % of kids who are willing to admit it? The conversation around mental health in schools has shifted dramatically even just since I started teaching, and I wonder how much of the increase in reported depression rates is an increase in reporting rather than an increase in actual depression.


2. How sure are we that cell phones, specifically, are to blame? Like...*gestures vaguely at the entire world* I think there are plenty of perfectly cromulent reasons to be depressed and anxious even without consulting the Torment Nexus we keep in our pockets. Correlation is not causation, my dudes.

To be clear, I don't know that cell phones aren't the problem! It's entirely possible that they are! But I don't think it's reasonable to dismiss those two considerations out of hand.


I probably have further thoughts—I usually do—but those are the ones that are topmost in my mind right now.

Hello!  How nice to meet someone who loves some of these ridiculous things!  Overall, I will be thrilled with anything you write—but if you want a little more guidance, here we go:

Generally, I don't care for: major character death, pining that doesn't get resolved, infidelity, rape, torture and abuse, high levels of gore, incest.

Generally, I like: porn, gender weirdness, worldbuilding, snappy dialogue & banter, domesticity, teams, found families, smart and competent characters, characters who BECOME smarter and more competent over the course of the story, absurdly codependent bff pairings, absurdly codependent frenemies-turned-relucatant-allies-turned-lovers pairings, outsider POV, pining that gets resolved, bodyswap, telepathy, fucking around with gender, fake dating / pretending to be married / woke up married, nonsexual intimacy, cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), characters taking care of each other, negotiation of kinks, characters being awkward about their kinks but then finding a partner who validates and supports them, shenanigans, porn.

More specifically:

( Humans Are Space Orcs, Sins of the Cities, D20: A Court of Fey and Flowers, Iron Widow )

Generally*, I don't care for: death, pining that doesn't get resolved, infidelity, rape, torture and abuse, incest.

Generally, I like: porn, gender weirdness, worldbuilding, snappy dialogue & banter, domesticity, porn, teams, found families, smart and competent characters, characters who BECOME smarter and more competent over the course of the story, absurdly codependent bff pairings, absurdly codependent frenemies-turned-relucatant-allies-turned-lovers pairings, outsider POV, pining that gets resolved, bodyswap, telepathy, fucking around with gender, fake dating / pretending to be married / woke up married, nonsexual intimacy, cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), characters taking care of each other, negotiation of kinks, characters being awkward about their kinks but then finding a partner who validates and supports them, open relationships negotiated well, shenanigans, porn.

( Specific Requests: Locked Tomb, Enola Holmes, Sins of the Cities, Hades )

HELLO YULETIDER! You are writing me a story! That is really cool of you! Anything you write will delight me, but in case you were looking for more guidance...

Generally, I don't care for: death, pining that doesn't get resolved, infidelity, rape, torture and abuse, incest.

Generally, I like: ladies, shenanigans, worldbuilding, snappy dialogue & banter, domesticity, porn, teams, found families, smart and competent characters, characters who BECOME smarter and more competent over the course of the story, absurdly codependent bff pairings, outsider POV, pining that gets resolved, bodyswap, telepathy, fucking around with gender, cross-dressing, fake dating / pretending to be married / woke up married, nonsexual intimacy, cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), characters taking care of each other, ladies topping the shit out of people, negotiation of kinks, characters being awkward about their kinks but then finding a partner who validates and supports them, threesomes and moresomes, open relationships negotiated well, shenanigans, pornography. ALL OF THE TROPES, GIVE THEM TO ME.

Specifically: ( The ArchAndroid, Brooklyn 9-9, The Unusuals, Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, The Musketeers, Push )

In conclusion: I like hot ladies in charge of shit! And also dumb shenanigans. soundslikej is a good guide to whether or not I'll like a thing, but on the whole, I'm pretty easy to please.

so for reasons that do not need any goddamn exploring, I just backread, um, the first two years of my LJ? (Which, ahahahahahaha oh god, bb!self, you were SO TRANSPARENT about SO MANY THINGS.) Whatever, it's been grand, I found the first comment soundslikej ever left me, n'awwwww.

And, like, whatever, hop on the 2:02 bus down Nostalgia Lane - but what really struck me was that all of the stuff I was dealing with then? It's the same stuff I'm dealing with now, in slightly different window dressing. I worry about being Enough, about Accomplishing Things; I remain (moderately) convinced that I have no worth except in the things I do, and therefore (sort of) believe that I don't deserve good things unless I am doing something good myself. Which - there's a level on which that is super upsetting and sad, I guess - I will always be like this! I will never get better! - but at the same time, idk, somehow it's a little comforting? Like, yeah, this will always be my tendency, and I'll live with it, and that will be fine. I will always be short and chubby and nearsighted and sarcastic and striving to be kinder and more patient with myself. There are worse things to be!

I was trying to articulate this to J, which led to the following conversation:

M: Like, this was the fight I was having with myself at 19, and this will be the fight I will be having with myself at 90.
J: Yup!
M: I'm just saying, when it comes time for me to retire, you had better fucking brace yourself, because I am going to be an actual human disaster. Like, I'll be asleep for the first week, and then I'll spend the second week reading, and then the third week I will be a fucking nightmare.
J: So, like every August ever, then?
M: ...shut up.
J: And, like - why would I want to make you retire, anyways?
M: ...because old?
J: Right, okay, so you'll stop working, but you'll immediately start volunteering at, like, six different places.
M: ...yes.
J: I have met you, you know.

I am marrying a pretty A+ human being, internet. In case you weren't aware. ♥

So for the last two years, I've kept a log of the books I read and what I thought about them - I'm gradually transitioning to using Goodreads, but I kept the log up for posterity's sake / out of sheer cussedness. And since at this point I am unlikely to finish another book in 2013, I might as well post the log!

( books 2013 + thoughts )

A good year in books, on the whole! Tomorrow you should all bring your hangovers over here so that we can talk (quietly!) about books.

aka THE ONLY COOKIE I WILL EVER MAKE AGAIN. Peanut butter cookies...with chocolate chips. How did it take me 26 years to discover this magic?

I know I promised a couple of people this recipe, so: ( magical cookies of delightful magic )

GUESS WHO'S NOT MOVING TODAY?



Honestly, I do feel bad for everybody who's trying to negotiate Boston traffic, torrential rain, and a Red Sox home game, all while driving a U-Haul...but mostly I feel smug as actual fuck. Whatever, I'll get my comeuppance the next time we move, I'm sure.

HEY LIVEJOURNAL WHAT ARE THE HAPS? I am TWO DAYS OUT from beginning my second year as a full-time teacher; I am both more and less terrified than I was this time a year ago. Mostly less terrified, honestly, because, hey: I have done this before! I don't know everything I want to - I probably don't even know everything I need to - but I at least know how to post attendance and who to email about my keys! PLUS I am not developing three entire courses entirely from scratch, this year, so I have way more material to work from.

On the other hand, I'm developing a split-level junior/senior class entirely from scratch and with no textbook, so there's that. On the OTHER other hand, I don't have a study hall anymore, quite possibly because somebody in the administration looked at my schedule and said, "um, or maybe we could NOT make her cry?"

WHAT ELSE. I finally paid off my library fines, so I can get free books again! And of course I am trapped in a terrible Mercedes Lackey series - I thought it was a trilogy but it turns out it is a QUINTET, what the fuck, ML, why would you do that to me? But I also have other books I am reading, and I am trying to get into the swing of using my GoodReads account to track things / find things. You should add me!

UM, STUFF. I stopped watching Teen Woof over the summer, because busy, and now I am too dispirited by everything I've seen about it on tumblr to keep going. I'm enjoying the everloving fuck out of Welcome To Night Vale, which is creepy and delightful. I'm wicked excited for the new Toby Daye book, even though it comes out on the first day of school and I'll probably never have time to read it. I tripped and fell and watched a whole bunch of American Ninja Warrior last week, which is oddly soothing. Oh yeah and I BOUGHT NEW BRAS, omg, my boobs look amazeballs.

HELLO, INTERNET. o______________o COME OVER HERE AND TELL ME THINGS.

mrsronweasley is hosting yet another love meme! My thread is here, and if you wanted to come and tell me nice things I would be very appreciative indeed.

so J and I were talking earnestly, as we often do on Friday nights, and we wound up discussing parenting (as we often do on Friday nights), and came to the following realization: both of us come from families with a limited vocabulary of negative emotions.

For example: My parents were GREAT at positive feeling words! They were proud, they were happy, they were excited, they were interested, they were amused, they were pleased...

...but when it came to expressing NEGATIVE feelings, they had two options: frustrated and disappointed. The latter was for something my brother or I had done wrong; the former was pretty much a catch-all for any negative emotion about something else - work kerfuffle, family drama, geopolitical turmoil, you name it. I think my mom had an option out on sad, but that was really only for if somebody you knew personally had died.

J had a similar experience—the same words, even!—which makes me wonder: what were the words your parents used to express emotions? I'm trying to figure if this is a thing that all parents do, or if this is just my family being wicked weird.